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thesilentsleeper:

if you wanna be friends with me all you gotta do is act like you’re already friends with me

call me by my name

send me porn

type like you’re having a mental breakdown

that’s it

(Source: seisans)

mcsnuggie:

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

mareeps:

remember back in like 5th grade when everyone vowed they would never do drugs

(Source: drarna)

one time me and my friends were really high waiting at a stop sign and after like ten minutes he turns to me and he’s like “this is the longest stop sign ever

(Source: vagisodium)

circumcising:

are we gunna have sex or are you going to continue to like my posts 

girafasolas:

I even procrastinate the things I want to do.

(Source: sundaeflowers)